CHAPTER XXIV: Fearless freedom

Pic: Hemingway Casa Suecia Madrid

* Music during reading (to feel better the atmosphere of this chapter I recommend this song in the background)

I always thought that freedom is the presence of the necessary means and qualities to do whatever you want, whenever you want, but today I’ve realized that freedom is nothing more than the absence of fear in action.

“I always thought that freedom is the presence of the necessary means and qualities to do whatever you want, whenever you want, but today I’ve realized that freedom is nothing more than the absence of fear in action.”

I entered another emblematic hotel in the capital, located just five minutes from mine. NH Collection Casa Suecia was famous in Madrid for its famous rooftop terrace overlooking the Cibeles Palace, one of the symbols of the city, but I wasn’t going to this lively place filled with sangria and beer lovers enjoying the sun rays. Seeking privacy, crossing a hidden in the lavatory door, I found myself in a twilight, where wild motifs carpets and burgundy furniture contrasted with the gold details reflected in the mirrors on the walls. It was here that the eminent American writer and journalist Ernest Hemingway sipped his whiskey when he visited his beloved Madrid in the 1950s, and it is for this reason that the owners of Casa Suecia decided to call this place after him: “Hemingway” *.

The Nordic was already waiting for me on one of the velvet sofas in front of an eclectic vintage bar that resembled a cabaret, like the ones that hid in Chicago basements a century ago to avoid the Prohibition. He stood up, seeing how I approached him and invited me to sit next to him. Sommer failed in his attempt to look strong because his tired face and tear-stained eyes were betraying an obvious need for support. Now that I was no longer afraid, I knew that I could share with him this straight that he needed so badly.

Now that I was no longer afraid, I knew that I could share with him this straight that he needed so badly.

I tried to keep cold blood, but the heat enveloped me. I hugged him. I hugged him without saying anything. Resting his head on my shoulder, I stroked his hair, realizing that the people who seem to us the strongest need us the most; and Hemingway’s words came to my mind: “You are so brave and quiet that I forget that you are suffering.”

For some reason, I felt like I had that inexplicable connection with Sommer that I never had with my fiancé, and after thinking about it, I saw Alex at the entrance to the cocktail bar watching me hug his friend. Noticing that I was aware of his presence, he approached us.

“I think you need to talk,” I said to both before any of them had time to say anything.

I got up and took Alex’s hand, giving him the engagement ring that he gave me in Paris, and squeezing it, I whispered in his ear: “I know, I promised that I will be with you, but I can’t.”

After kissing him on the cheek, and throwing one last glance at Sommer, I began to move away from the two friends, without looking back. Finally, I realized that my questions weren’t for them, but for myself, and only me could find the answers.

“Finally I realized that my questions were not for them, but for myself, and only me could find the answers.”

 At least you have to try
 Before you say “It’s a lie”.
 At least you must see life
 Before you take the knife
 And cut off all your dreams,
 Not all is what it seems.
 There are a lot of things
 Which are like little stings
 That make you think “It’s over”
 To run and take the cover,
 To make you feel you’re dying,
 Give up while you are crying,
 And saying “damn all of this”,
 But life is like a kiss;
 It’s power, love, and passion,
 And sometimes, it’s compassion,
 Depending where it finds you
 And what you really need, 
 It feels like it reminds you
 The way you must succeed.

I NEED MORE

*Due to the measures taken in relation to COVID-19, the schedule and access to some spaces may change.

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